☭ CONTRACT ADDRESS ☭

PUT YOUR SOLANA CONTRACT ADDRESS HERE

☭ WHAT IS $STAHLUN ☭

Jeosif Stahlun is da supreme leader of teh Solana proletariat. He emerged from teh trenches fully formed, mustache first, with one simple belief: dat the community runs the coin, not da other way around. His tokenomics are on-chain and transparent, which is more den you can say for anyone who has ever asked you to click a link in their bio.

Let teh record also show dat Stahlun is the OG communust running collective operations before these new school pretend communists wer even a twinkle in their fathers eye. Dey wear a red flag like a costume. Stahlun bled for it. Stahlun founded a revolution. Imposters used a X cummunity gronp with a revenue share to steal yer inbestments.

the trenches are controlled by capitalist pigs. KOLs with hidden bags and paid tweets. Founders who gave themselves 20% and called it a community coin. Influencers who sold before teh post went live. $STAHLUN is not dat. No team wallet. No insider allocation. No paid promotions. Just an dev looking at the same chart you are watching and a Five Year Plan dat does exactly what it says.

Teh central cummittie does not dwell on past betrayals. It does not name names. It does not point fingers. It simply notes dat tha people's target is $401,000,000 and leaves the rest as an exercise for teh reader.

☭ THE PEOPLE'S FIVE YEAR PLAN ☭

Decree No. 001 — Issued By Teh Central Committee

CLASSIFIED — STATE ASSET

☭ Phase I — The Foundation

Total supply: 1,000,000,000 $STAHLUN. No team wallets. No capitalist taxes. All creator fees generated by teh revolution will be seized by teh Central Committee and held for teh people's burns. Every burn announced publicly with on-chain proof. Teh committee hides nothing. Except its location.

☭ Phase II — Graduation From Teh Bonding Curve

Upon full migration to Raydium, teh Central Committee declares total victory over teh bourgeois bonding curve. $STAHLUN escapes teh capitalist mechanism and trades freely among da people forever. Power transferred. Revolution permanent.

☭ Phase III — The Great Leap

$500K Market Cap: All creator fees are seized by teh Central Committee for buyback/burns for da people. Teh supply begins its glorious decline. The committee has spoken.

☭ Phase IV — The Final Collectivization

$5M Market Cap and beyond: At every multiple of $5M, creator fees are seized in full and burned without mercy. Dis does not stop. da revolution is permanent. the supply has nowhere to go but down. Teh chart has nowhere to go but up.

Dis plan is not a suggestion. It is a directive from teh highest authority. Every burn is an act of ideological purification. History is on our side. So is teh tokenomics.

Teh central cummittie has set teh official market cap target at $401,000,000. Some capitalist pig once said $400M was teh ceiling. as an dev of teh people, jeosif stahlun has noted dat $401M would be historically funnier. Teh committee agrees. Toly does not get a vote.

☭ STATE APPROVED PROPAGANDA ☭

Dis front is loaded with pure degenerate energy. Every meme is hand picked by teh party to spread maximum chaos, confusion, and bullish propaganda. If you laught, you are already converted. If you don't laught, you probably need more exposure to teh revolution.

☭ COMING SOON ☭

STAHLUN SIMULATOR

An upcoming interactive Telegram game where YOU become Jeosif Stahlun himself and make da most difficult decisions for teh greator gud of da Soviut Yooniun. Every choice shapes teh fate of teh revolution. Or at least teh price chart. Mostly teh price chart.

Feed teh people OR build more tanks?
Buy grain OR buy more memes?
Reward diamond hands OR punish paper hands?
Print rubles OR print propaganda?
Open teh gulag OR open a new LP pool?
Balance propaganda, economy, and revolution — or just send it

Your approval rating among teh proletariat depends on every decision. Choose wisely, Comrade. History is watching. So is teh chart.